Introduction
Raising children in a new country can be a challenge for any immigrant, but for Filipino parents in Canada, the struggle becomes even more nuanced. Filipino parents often find themselves walking a delicate line between maintaining their cultural roots and adapting to the Canadian way of life. As the first generation of Canadian-born Filipinos grows up, these young ones find themselves navigating a unique cultural identity—a blend of Filipino heritage and Canadian norms. Here’s an in-depth look at the challenges Filipino parents face in raising Canadian-born kids, as well as some strategies for striking that balance.
What Are the Main Struggles Filipino Parents Face?
The struggle of raising Canadian-born Filipino kids often begins with the clash between Filipino traditional values and Canadian societal norms. While Filipino parents hold close their values of respect for elders, strong family ties, and the importance of education, Canadian culture emphasizes independence, equality, and a more relaxed view of authority.
1. Language Barriers and Communication Gaps
While Filipino parents often speak Tagalog or other regional languages at home, their children may be more comfortable with English or French—the two official languages of Canada. This can create communication challenges, especially as children grow older and become more influenced by the local culture. Parents may struggle with their children becoming less fluent in Filipino, which can lead to a sense of cultural disconnection.
2. Generational Gaps and Different Parenting Styles
Filipino parents are known for their authoritarian parenting style, which is rooted in respect and discipline. However, this may conflict with Canadian ideals of parenting, where children are encouraged to express themselves freely and have an equal say in decision-making. The younger generation often wants more independence, but Filipino parents may find this difficult to accept, as they value family unity and control.
3. Cultural Identity Crisis
As Canadian-born Filipino children grow up, they may experience an identity crisis, unsure of whether they should identify more with their Filipino heritage or embrace the Canadian lifestyle. This can result in feelings of isolation, especially when they feel they don’t fully belong to either culture. Some may even experience discrimination from both Filipino and Canadian peers, making it difficult for them to find their place.
When Do These Struggles Begin?
The struggle begins as early as the preschool or elementary school years when Filipino children first encounter Canadian cultural norms and language outside the home. These struggles tend to intensify during the teenage years, when they are most likely to question authority and explore their own identity. It can also be especially challenging during milestones such as graduation or preparing for a career, when they have to make choices between familial expectations and personal aspirations.
Where Does the Struggle Take Place?
The struggles can occur in a variety of settings:
- At Home: Tensions often arise when parents try to enforce traditional Filipino values, such as respect for elders and strict curfews, while children increasingly prefer to adapt to Canadian social norms.
- In School: Filipino children may feel caught between two worlds when interacting with Canadian classmates who may not fully understand their culture, language, or family traditions.
- In Social Circles: Within the Filipino-Canadian community, children may feel disconnected if they are more fluent in English than Filipino, or if they adopt Canadian mannerisms that their parents don’t always approve of.
Who Is Affected by These Struggles?
The struggle doesn’t just affect the children; it impacts the parents, the entire family dynamic, and even the broader Filipino-Canadian community. Filipino parents may experience frustration or feelings of failure when they see their children adopting behaviors or values that are vastly different from their own. This can also lead to generational misunderstandings between parents and children.
The children themselves can feel torn between the two worlds, unable to fully embrace either. Filipino-Canadian children often face a dual identity—living one way at home and another when outside. This might cause confusion, stress, or feelings of alienation.
How Can Filipino Parents Overcome These Struggles?
While the challenges are real, there are ways to help Filipino parents raise Canadian-born children without losing sight of their heritage.
1. Open Communication and Understanding
One of the most effective ways to bridge the gap is through open communication. Filipino parents need to understand that their children are not rejecting their culture, but rather adapting to a new environment. By listening to their children’s concerns and respecting their growing independence, parents can help create a stronger, more understanding relationship. It’s essential to validate their children’s feelings of both pride and frustration when it comes to their mixed cultural identity.
2. Celebrating Filipino Culture and Traditions
Keeping Filipino traditions alive can help children stay connected to their roots. Hosting Filipino-themed parties, celebrating Filipino holidays like Buwan ng Wika (Language Month), or simply cooking Filipino dishes at home can strengthen the connection between the children and their culture. Parents can also involve children in activities like learning Filipino songs or even visiting the Philippines, which can serve as a cultural immersion experience.
3. Encourage Bilingualism
Parents can make an effort to speak Filipino at home to maintain the language, even if their children are increasingly conversant in English. Setting aside time for reading Filipino books, watching Filipino TV shows, or speaking in Filipino during specific family activities can go a long way in ensuring that children maintain both languages.
4. Balance Independence with Family Values
Filipino parents can benefit from finding a middle ground between the values of independence that are present in Canadian culture and the close-knit family structures common in Filipino households. This could mean allowing children more freedom, but within a framework of mutual respect and understanding. Having family discussions about expectations can help children feel heard and valued while respecting the parents’ authority.
5. Provide Support and Guidance
As children face pressures of fitting in with Canadian peers, it’s crucial for Filipino parents to provide emotional support and guidance. Acknowledge that growing up as a Canadian-born Filipino isn’t always easy, and be there to help them navigate any struggles with identity, friendships, or school challenges. Encouraging self-confidence in their multicultural identity can empower them to embrace both worlds.
Conclusion
Raising Canadian-born Filipino kids involves managing the balancing act between Filipino cultural values and the Canadian way of life. While the struggle is real, Filipino parents can overcome these challenges by fostering open communication, celebrating their culture, and offering support to their children. With patience, understanding, and the willingness to adapt, Filipino families can build a strong foundation for their children to thrive in Canada while proudly embracing their heritage.
References:
- Filipino-Canadian Cultural Identity: An Exploration of the Experiences of Filipino Immigrant Parents and Their Children
Source: Canadian Journal of Education Studies
Website: www.cjee.ca - “Raising Bilingual Children in Canada”
Source: CBC News
Website: www.cbc.ca - “Filipino Parenting: Exploring Traditional Values”
Source: Filipino Canadian Magazine
Website: www.filipinocanadianmagazine.com
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